Open hearts, open eyes

I feel like I have grown up a lot in the past three years. Even with all the negativity, the sadness, the pain. I have learned so much about myself. After moving back to my home-town after I swore up and down that I never would return I did. Not only did I move back but I actually stuck around a LOT longer than I or anyone else ever expected. I learned that I would be a great mother, (even tho others have told me that for years, its different when you see it for yourself) I know what its like to have NOTHING, go to bed hungry, and live out of my car. I know what its like to loose the love of your life, to be truly alone. Its always and adventure. And now something else that I have surprised myself of a change that I have let happen. I went on a date with a black man, and to you reading its like uh... okay.. but two years ago when I lived in Yosemite National Park I was raped and after that I have been terrified of all black men. And Tuesday not only did I go out on a date but I let him hug and kiss me. And that's a monumental thing. I never ever would have thought that I would let that happen. But I am glad that my fears have come to a point that I am open and trusting of black men again I know that Im not cured completely after one date but everything takes time.